CHILDREN
I have been told my child has behaviour problems and this is why she/he isn’t
getting on at school. What can I do?
Let’s start by addressing the issue of what a ‘behaviour problem’ is. When a child does not behave in a manner that is usually expected, especially at school, we often find they are labelled ‘a behaviour problem’. This often means the child won’t sit still, distracts other children, doesn’t get on with their work, messes about, gets others into trouble, gets themselves into trouble, doesn’t listen, concentrate or attend, gets out of their seat, bunks off, bullies other kids, may be cheeky, rude or even aggressive to others including staff, and can actually be very hard to manage in a classroom and may spend a lot of time outside the head’s office or in some other place where discipline is handed out.
Our view at Learning Insights is that behaviour problems often
arise because a child has a learning need that is not being met. If you child
has a learning difficulty (click Parents + Children) it means that they find
it hard to learn in the way that their peers (who don’t have learning difficulties)
learn. The result is they get confused, start to fail, feel they can’t
cope and over time do anything to avoid doing things they can’t do. The
adolescent also has to avoid letting their peers see their inadequacies, so
they often develop an ‘attitude’ which basically says ‘stay away
from me, leave me alone, butt out or else…!)
Your child may be very well behaved at school but actually be very stroppy and
difficult at home; refusing to do what you ask especially avoiding their homework,
arguing and fighting with their brothers and sisters or just seeming to be ‘difficult’
and moody. Any child or adolescent with behaviour problems will very likely
have very low self-esteem – that means they don’t feel good about
themselves and often they are very unconfident. (Ironically the more they ‘act
out’ to cover up their feelings of inadequacies, the more unconfident they
are likely to be).
Remember all these behaviours are actually ‘normal’ behaviours too! So it is actually when you feel at your wits end, as if you can’t take any more, then it is very likely your child is not behaving in a manner that is ‘normal’. That is, they are showing more of these behaviours than would usually be expected for their age.
If your child has not been assessed for learning difficulties, you may benefit from reading about this a little more - click on Parent, Children + Schools. Alternately, if any of this rings a bell and is making sense for you, follow this up with a call to Learning Insights or click CONTACT US.